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Monica Walet

Smiles of Sadness

She appears happy yet suffering inside
Successfully masking a gloomy irrational state
She holds a job, a nanny for a pre-school child
She has kids of her own and a spouse back home.

A happy face, she must put on every weekday
Sundays respite lift her mood till nightfall comes
Craving to hear her kin’s voices or texting silly faces
Video chats follow heartbreaking goodbyes

After eight bus stops and two blocks, 
She approaches the door, and goes back to a trough 
She thinks she’s a failure, she believes she’s not good enough
She ruminates on her dark and unsettled past

She smiles as pain engulfs the mask, she flaunts
Feeling hopeless, feeling down
She decides ending it all; but, 
Has no strength to act on her deadly intention. 

She’s ashamed of her feelings thus, no one should know
Prefers distance since nobody grasps what she senses
Then she probes, ‘Should I stop now?’ Putting on a smile of sadness,
Opens the door, exclaiming, ‘Good evening po, Sir, Ma’am, I’m back.’

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